The World Series is currently knotted at 1-1 in what looks to be the most thrilling Fall Classic in years. The Indians haven’t won a title since 1948, the Cubs since 1908, and this one feels certain to go seven game, dragging both teams’ fans to the brink of heart failure due to all the excitement. But you know what can always make something more exciting? The addition of beer.

Both Chicago and Cleveland are stupendous drinking towns, cities where bellying up to your neighborhood bar is a basic part of life. Both middle American locales have been integral parts of the craft beer revolution as well, each home to a pioneer of the industry—Cleveland’s Great Lakes Brewing Co. (opened in 1986) and Chicago’s Goose Island Brewery (1988)—and countless great beer bars.  Thus, we wondered who would win a World Series of beer, if the Kris Bryants and Mike Napolis were replaced by, say, Bourbon County Brand Stout and Head Hunter IPA.

Chicago is the land of big, bold stouts—it’s where, literally, the world’s first bourbon barrel-aged imperial stout emerged from—while Cleveland has tons of award-winning IPAs. If we craft a line-up of nine top beers for each city, and pit them against each other, who would win?

We aimed to find out.

In the lead-off spot is this nimble pale ale from Chitown’s best hopmeisters. Lizard King relies on the single hop of Mosaic, bringing forth a 6.5% crusher that is packed with pineapple and other tropical fruit flavors.

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Great Lakes is the veteran of the Cleveland beer scene. Eliot Ness is their flagship Vienna lager, a style you hardly even see any more, outside of Mexican restaurants. This is the quintessential American attempt at the malty style.

Advantage: Chicago

Perhaps the city’s most ubiquitous craft beer, this year-round, canned pale ale is insanely aromatic thanks to some dank dry-hopping. Back in the steroids era, we might have seen the bigger, bolder Double Daisy Cutter in this two-spot.

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Once merely a bar in Pittsburgh, in 2009 a former employee partnered with Fat Head to open their first brewpub in the Cleveland’s North Olmstead suburb. By 2012 they had a full-scale production facility getting their flagship hard-hitting, west-coast-in-the-rust-belt IPA out into the world. 

Advantage: Cleveland

This under-the-radar West Loop brewpub is making some seriously hard-hitting ales like Clare’s Thirsty Ale, a rye-whiskey-aged imperial stout aged on raspberries. Mathias is the closest they have to a “regular” release, and that’s not a bad thing—this DIPA packs a shit-ton of Citra hops up front, and honors the first of Chicago’s Finest to die in the 1886 Haymarket Affair that the brewpub is named for.

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Slightly south of Cleveland in Strongsville, this taproom (and BBQ smokehouse!) has quietly been making some of C-Town’s best beers. White Rajah is their smooth and citrusy IPA, perfect for setting the plate for the middle of the lineup.

Advantage: Cleveland 

Batting cleanup is this iconic ass-kicker, the country’s first bourbon barrel-aged stout, and still one of its best. In fact, we could have arguably made a whole batting order of just Bourbon County variants (Bourbon County Coffee, Bourbon County Barleywine, etc.), but we wanted to give some other guys a chance.

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Batting clean-up is this bolder version of Great Lakes’ Blackout Stout. Roasty and drinkable in a way many modern imperial stouts no longer are, this bourbon barrel-aged variant was brewed in memory of the Blackout of 2003 that left the city—and much of the country—in the dark.

Advantage: Chicago

This bold, barrel-aged barleywine isn’t just the city’s most underrated beer—it’s one of the country’s. The Logan Square brewery’s strong ale is said to “warm your insides in the dead of winter,” and indeed it presents the rich, thick tastes of molasses, caramel, and vanilla. Best of all, it’s fairly easy to find in stores.

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Akron counts as Cleveland in media markets, so we’ll allow this Akron brewery to count too. Of course, most people completely ignore Akron as an entity, and that’s what unfortunately also frequently happens to this stellar Scotch ale. The “wee heavy” is aged in bourbon barrels, creating a sweet, rich, and boozy power hitter.

Advantage: Chicago

 

Everyone needs a little sour ale in their tasting lineup, and Goose Island has clearly used some of InBev’s money to buy more wine barrels. Juliet is a sour ale for people who claim they don’t like sour beer—a lovely Brett beer aged in in Cab Sauv barrels alongside blackberries.

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Another Akron brew, another bourbon barrel-aged offering. This imperialized oatmeal stout is boozy yet not overpowering, a smooth line-drive hitter deep in the back of the order. 

Advantage: Chicago

Tiny Spiteful may be in the 7th slot in the order, but it certainly out-hits its weight with Malevolence. This takes their standard Russian imperial stout and adds vanilla beans, cinnamon, chile flakes, dried peppers, and cacao nibs to make a Mexican-style stout you can't deny. The beer ain’t easy to find, but never fret: Spiteful already has plans to expand in what some people are calling the city’s Balmoral Brewers Row.

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Fat Head’s is the IPA king in town, and their more limited JuJu is their best hoppy offering. The dank yet citrus-y, high-ABV DIPA has won the gold medal in its category at three of the last four Great American Beer Festivals. 

Advantage: Cleveland 

John Laffler’s Off Color is certainly making the nuttiest beers in Chicagoland, and this one tastes just like you’d guess it would. The imperial stout is produced with graham flour, marshmallow fluff, vanilla, and cocoa nibs, a decadent treat to add some punch to the bottom of the order.

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Another Mosaic-backed hop monster, this aggressive DIPA slaps the ball into the gaps with its boozy, syrupy body, supporting a tropical nose. It’s even available in the brewery’s variety pack.

Advantage: Chicago

Of course, in the 9-hole, we have to bat the weak-hitting macro-brew that the city still adores after all these years. Yes, the little lager isn’t even brewed in Chicago—it’s owned by Pabst—but no other beer will be consumed more in the Friendly Confines tonight than this brew.

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The bottom of the lineup brings us this designated hitter of a west coast IPA made by this new-ish brewery and beer garden. Citramax is dry-hopped with Citra hops, giving Market Garden’s most notable beer a juicy, citrusy burst of flavor.

Advantage: Cleveland

Chicago: 5 
Cleveland: 4

Cleveland has plenty of potent IPAs and hard-hitting stouts, but the city lacks in overall depth and is no match for the pure power of Chicago’s many 10%+ ABV batters, surely one of the best lineups in the entire country.

Cubs win, Cubs win, holy cow!