Subtlety and understatement are not exactly mantras in the modern hot sauce biz, especially when you look at bottles boasting slogans like "100% Pain" and "Insanity." It should be no surprise, then, that we're in the middle of a Scoville Scale arms race—a chile pepper blitzkrieg that can feel more like a death march than a road to enlightenment, as companies vying to outmaneuver their competitors keep pushing the heat levels to the extreme outer-reaches. 

But while these "warnings" only seem to encourage more and more YouTube dares, hot-sauce wasn’t always a game of one-upmanship. Historically speaking, hot sauces began where hot peppers grew, in Central America, perhaps some 2000 years ago, deployed sparingly to add flavor to a humdrum meal. Centuries later, companies like Tabasco and Huy Fong's (Sriracha) broke through the mainstream, setting the stage for a global interest in hot sauce. 

The widespread interest has also primed us for a certain type of chilehead with the courage to sign a legal disclaimer before entering the "XXX Hot" category of hot-sauce tasting. As more product enters the market, one way to differentiate yourself from the rest of the pack is by ratcheting up the Scovilles in novelty bottles—seemingly lethal formulas that sometimes hover in the seven- or eight-digit range. (For perspective, a humble jalapeño is around 10,000 Scoville units.) Not everyone considers those things “sauces” though, as they can only occur courtesy of extracts, the HGH of the spice world.

"A 10-million Scoville sauce would be made from only Oleoresin Capsicum, an extract from chiles that distills their pure heat," Noah Chaimberg tells me. He’s the world’s first hot sauce sommelier and owner of Heatonist, a hot sauce specialty store in Brooklyn that carries First We Feast's Hot Ones blend. He adds, “It's what pepper spray is made from.” 

So what’s the point of a hot sauce if we’re not getting some flavor with the burn? Indeed, almost all of those so-called sauces that sky past one-million Scoville units have to use extracts to pad those numbers. Chaimberg and many other experts believe most of those are food additives at best. That’s why they’re often packaged with a medicine dropper—to be applied a mere dash at a time—simply meant to add heat without flavor. (If anything, many folks get a kerosene or metallic note from extract, due to the solvents used in the extraction process). We clearly have no interest in touting those in our top 10.

Below, are the hottest hot sauces—in descending order—that aren’t 100% extract, and ones that you can actually purchase today. While many of the top hot sauce-mongers have a variety of sauces that could qualify, we’ve only included the single hottest, regular-released offering per company. Keep these scorching sauces in mind when you pass by the Hot Ones crew November 5-6 at ComplexCon, where progressively hotter wings bring out the worst best of your favorite celebrity guests.

NOTE: in some cases Scoville units are estimates.

Scoville units: ~1 million
Peppers used: Carolina Reaper

Unlike a lot of these other hot sauces that seem to come from the mind of a slightly insane dude working from his kitchen, Henry’s Hot Sauce is courtesy of an honest-to-god Virginia pepper farm. There, in the Shenandoah Valley, is apparently located the most limestone-rich soil for growing the most perfect hot peppers—ones the Henry family has cultivated from the world over. (And Henry’s classy, understated labels won’t give you a seizure either.) No surprise, Henry’s sauces use 100% homegrown peppers (with just a hint of salt and vinegar), and are usually based around one single pepper varietal, like Carolina Reaper, their most extreme offering. Buy it here. 

Note: if you go to Henry's website you'll see Carolina Reaper (and all their other sauces) listed as "limited edition." This is mainly because making sauces with 100% your own ingredients leads to small batches, not because these products are of the only-100-bottles-made-then-gone-forever nature.

Scoville units: 1 million
Peppers used: Carolina Reaper, scorpion, ghost

David Ashley has been making hot sauces for over 30 years, and his most potent concoction on the market uses a blend of reaper, scorpion, and ghost peppers, plus something called “Plutonium Extract.” That may sound like something Homer Simpson deals with at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant, but it’s actually Ashley’s proprietary extract of peppers from around the globe that counts 9 million on the Scoville scale. The bottle comes with a bullet attached to the neck, and you can decide the implications of that. Buy it here.

Scoville units: 1.1 million
Peppers used: Habanero

An antidote to the mild-mannered, wussy Tabasco, this is the self-proclaimed “XXX-rated” version of a Louisiana-style hot sauce. In fact, an entire bushel of habanero peppers is crammed into every bottle. The man behind Crazy Uncle Jester's is actually named Jeffrey E. “Black Bull” Stevenson, a member of The Shawnee Nation who is the purveyor of this certified Native American-owned Minority Business Enterprise. Buy it here.

Scoville units: ~1.2 million
Peppers used: Ghost, habanero, Trinidad scorpio

Proclaiming itself the “THE HOTTEST NATURAL SAUCE IN THE WORLD!!!” (yes, all caps, obvi), this offering is made with ghost, habanero, and a good 66.6% Trinidad scorpion peppers, around 16 of those suckers per bottle. Chaimberg finds it to have “serious mouth heat followed by a good linger, with a balance from mandarin orange and carrot,” which is a lot more sophisticated of review than one from your average chilehead grabbing for a big glass of cold milk. Buy it here.

Scoville units: ~1.3 million
Peppers used: Habanero, cayenne, serrano, joloki

Blair’s is clearly the clubhouse leader in punching through the clouds and attaining absolutely insane Scoville numbers. Case in point: their Guinness World Records-certified 16 Million Reserve bottling with, yes, 16 million Scoville units and a warning for it to not “even (be) opened without using extreme caution.” Unfortunately, that sauce and many others from Blair’s “Reserve” series are highly limited (under 1000 bottles ever made), and of course 100% extract too (16 Million is made with pure Capsaicin crystal). Ultra Death is their hottest “regular” sauce, a tantalizing mix of habanero, cayenne, serrano, and jolokia peppers. Buy it here.

Scoville units: ~2.2 million
Peppers used: Carolina Reapers

What could be cooler than actually creating your own hot pepper for use in your own hot sauce? “Smokin’” Ed Currie did such a thing—breeding his Carolina Reaper® in his Rock Hill, South Carolina greenhouse. The 2.2-million-Scoville cultivar is now listed in the Guinness World Records. Currie’s Reaper Squeezins is his hottest offering, made with various forms of that badass pepper and just a hint of vinegar. Buy it here.

Scoville units: 3.5 million
Peppers used: Ghost, aged red

Like the World’s Greatest Dad mug, the self-proclaimed “Hottest Sauce in the Universe” isn’t always accurate for the most part. But it’s still damn hot. Made with aged red peppers and forty pounds of ghost peppers in every batch (and, of course, a chili extract), one reviewer notes: “Definitely not for the folks who think taco bell hot sauce is hot (sic).” Still, maybe Pepper Palace should consider adding a little more extract, or renaming this bad boy “(Almost the) Hottest Sauce in the Universe.” Buy it here.

Scoville units: ~6 million
Peppers used: Habaneros

The Bumblefoot brand pays tribute to a rock guitarist who nicknamed himself after a bacterial infection (Ron “Bumblefoot” Thal), yet who doesn’t quite have the courage to fully curse on his bottles. We kid, because Bumblef**ked is one of the most f**ked-up hot sauces around. It’s a blend of habaneros, capsicum extract, tomato paste, honey mustard, tropical fruits like papaya and pineapple, and ginger—as well as caffeine and ginseng. This so-called “hi-energy heart-pounder” sends a part of its proceeds to women’s health organizations. Never quit surprising us, Bumblefoot. Buy it here.

Scoville units: ~6 million
Peppers used: Ghost peppers

Sold in a hand-crafted wood coffin, Meet Your Maker has a base of fresh, pureed ghost peppers and a 5-million Scoville ghost pepper extract blended with dried ground ghost peppers, then combined together. James “Wreck” Beck—the “Hot Sauce Boss” of iBurn in Houston, who once penned an extract misuse manifesto called “Stop Spicy Stupidity”—may be one of the few humans who has tried both this and Black Mamba 6, believing Meet Your Maker to be hotter. He might be right, as Heavenly Heat actually makes you agree to a product waiver before purchasing this product! Buy it here.

Scoville units: 6 million
Peppers used: Chocolate habaneros

In general, the higher the Scovilles, the higher the price—and the rarer the bottle. But CaJohns’ most potent offering costs a mere Andrew Jackson, and it’s available online at all times for you to order. (Its legendary inventor, John Hard, was once a—no kidding—fire protection engineer.) Yes, of course, that lofty 6 million is hit via some extract, but the bottle also is 73% comprised of flavorful chocolate habaneros, an earthy and smoky pepper that looks like a chocolate candy on a stem (and packs 425,000–577,000 Scovilles in and of itself). It somehow remains palatable, with one online reviewer noting: “Crazy heat but still great flavor. First hot sauce I've ever tried that made my face go half numb.” Buy it here. 

Want to experience Complex IRL? Check out ComplexCon, a festival and exhibition on Nov. 5-6, 2016 in Long Beach, Calif., featuring performances, panels, and more. For ticket info, click here.