If you’ve ever fallen down a rabbit hole of strangers’ #ootd (“outfit of the day”) or #struggleplates, you know how huge the world of Instagram hashtagging is. That mildly annoying/adorable flood of #TBT that hits your feed every Thursday? That’s 131 million people jumping on a bandwagon that started with some old Polaroids of one guy’s sixth-grade brace face.

The scariest part is, those are just the most visible examples. There are thousands of acronyms, cryptic phrases, and nonsense words (#tweegram, anyone?) that people are adding to their photos right now—and sometimes getting tens of thousands of likes for it. There are 14-year-olds out there with more people following their every move than you’ve ever met, and dubious “models” who get dozens of marriage proposals a day—in the comments, of course.

Choose the wrong tags, and you’re telling the world that you’re a 13-year-old girl who loves Hello Kitty and Pumpkin Spice lattes.

Even in what should be the straightforward genre of food pics, there are distinct subcultures. They find each other by flashing hashtags like gang signs, throwing up #foodporn or #nomnomnom to prove their loyalty to the group. A #foodie would never take a pic of his morning Pop-Tarts, and someone who’s always #hungry is never going to compose an artful shot of a single strawberry.

So what’s a wannabe food ‘grammer to do? Choose the wrong tags, and you’re telling the world that you’re a 13-year-old girl who loves Hello Kitty and Pumpkin Spice lattes. Choose the right ones, and you’ll be admired by millions of your peers, leading to fame, fortune, and a sweet gig as an IG influencer.  

To help you find your true path, we’ve decoded the most popular food tags out there—who’s using them, what they’re photographing, and why they do it.

Number of images: 47 million
The breakdown: 60% overfiltered “art” shots, 22% luxury food brags, 18% things with a bite taken out of them
Also tagged with: #picoftheday

People who use this controversial word as a hashtag are also the most likely to include it in their bio, or (god forbid) use it to refer to themselves in the real world. They don’t know that people who talk about food for a living would rather stab themselves in the eye with an oyster knife than use it; it just sounds like a status label that says, “I’m better than my Sonic-slurping, 7-11 taquito-eating friends.” But while those blurred-out sepia shots of roasted bone marrow look like Civil War battlefield images, at least they’re trying.

Number of images: 104 million
The breakdown: 46% plates with a fried egg on top, 24% extreme closeups, 30% burgers
Also tagged with: #amazing, #manvsfood

The word “porn” implies that the subject is irresistible yet bad for you, something to be consumed in secret lest anyone judge you. But by taking a photo of it for the world to see, people who use this hashtag mark themselves as exhibitionists daring the world to revel in their clogged arteries. One of the food pornographer’s favorite tricks is the racks on racks on racks image, achieved by either crowding the shot with dozens of the same thing, or by using Photo Grid to cobble together an unholy collage of excess.

Number of images: 21 million
The breakdown: 34% desserts from the Cheesecake Factory, 45% sushi rolls drowning in eel sauce, 21% unidentifiable piles of fried stuff
Also tagged with: #sinful, #bestthingever

The inevitable conclusion to #foodporn, a #foodgasm is the messy, sticky proof of your gluttony. It's less about the sheer amount of food as it is one single image that is undeniably the picture of excess. There's a lot of sauce in places it shouldn't be, and if you were in the room, you'd be witnessing a lot of finger-licking. Like a guy claiming he loves taking his girl shoe shopping, it generally comes across as trying too hard – but that's not to say it never works.

Number of images: 20 million
The breakdown: 50% cupcakes, 30% whipped cream-topped drinks, 20% ice cream
Also tagged with: #tweegram, #chocoholic

While the number of “noms” may vary (we’ve seen as high as nine, while the most popular iteration is the classic three), the images are all basically the same. Overwhelmingly female, the nom-er appears to be suffering from adult-onset diabetes—there’s almost nothing in their feeds that isn’t tooth-meltingly sweet. They're clearly paying homage to the originator of their baby-talk code word, Cookie Monster.

Number of images: 292,562
The breakdown: 25% 90s cartoon memes, 75% international pizzas
Also tagged with: You can’t read any of the other hashtags, don’t worry about it.

Do you love hearing about the latest pizza abomination on offer at Pizza Huts halfway around the world? This hashtag is your ticket to an international community of creamed corn/shrimp/cream sauce-topped pie enthusiasts. Get ready to work that translate function if you want to understand just what the hell it is you’re looking at, or turn the guesswork into a drinking game. Are those marshmallows? What protein is that? And who knew Korea was so big on Chicago-style deep dish pizza?

Number of images: 195 million
The breakdown: 30% nature scenes, 52% thirst traps, 18%  actual pictures of food
Also tagged with: #tagsforlikes, #instagood

Believe it or not, this is the 25th most popular hashtag on Instagram—below #selfie and #tbt, but higher than #nofilter (because we’ve all stopped kidding ourselves on our photo skills). It's also one of the most misused—recent images included a stock photo of stacks of cash, footage from a club in Dubai, and a majestic sunset. Most people who use this tag are just copying and pasting a batch of generic tags onto every photo they post, the photographic equivalent of a chain letter. Don't trust these people—they may be robots, and they will definitely try to sell you Mexican Adderall.

Number of images: 641,444
The breakdown: 30% melted cheese, 35% cronuts, 25% obviously staged sweets
Also tagged with: #forkyeah, local pride references

If your handle has the word “fatty” in it but you don’t want people to think you’re, y’know, actually fat, let them know you’re just #eatingfortheinsta. Shots that use this hashtag veer close to the #foodporn crew, but with more brand loyalty (so many Milk Bar soft serves!) so you know these aren’t just any indiscriminate eaters. There’s no point in decimating your cholesterol counts over subpar treats; they’re only stuffing themselves with the best of the best.

Number of images: 59,672
The breakdown: 40% shadowy skillets, 29% third-tier lifestyle bloggers, 30% chicken, 1% professional chefs.
Also tagged with: #passion

The more you feel like you have to insist on something, the less likely it is to be true. That’s especially the case with “chefs” on the ‘gram, who by and large have never been closer to a professional kitchen than the drive-thru window at the nearest Mickey D’s. If you want to flaunt your home cooking but aren’t actually sure what things like “plating” and “presentation” are, use this tag to let people know you’re too busy bro-ing down over a pan full of chicken thighs to stage your photos. 

Number of images: 9.3 million
The breakdown: ​52% sandwiches, 36% babies/dogs, 12% post-gym selfies 
Also tagged with: #amazing, #motivation

When you aren't functional enough to come up with a clever line but still need to be posting food pics, #hungry is the tag for you. The reasons for this creativity deficit can vary: The #gains crew is too busy trying to show you just how much hard work went into that not-quite-a-six-pack, and how miserable it’s making them. The pre-breakfast crowd can’t focus on anything just yet, and the sad desk sandwich contingent is busy dreaming of a life outside their dismal cubicle. But if there’s one thing that unites us all, it’s the primal urge to feed ourselves—and show it to the world, of course.

Number of images: 26 million
The breakdown: 20% motivational quotes, 60% progress shots, 16% photos of fruit, 4% plates of paleo “pasta”
Also tagged with: #thinspo

As far as Instagram is concerned, clean eating is what you do if you don't actually like eating. Just like in the real world, the concept of eating healthy, non-processed food is often used as a safety blanket for people with eating disorders, who hide their serious issues with a veil of health-consciousness. Since Instagram banned the use of hashtags like #thinspiration and #proana, the actual health nuts have been overtaken by people who need help and are showing it off. If you're actually interested in living an additive-free lifestyle, may we suggest a different hashtag?