In February, Hot Ones host Sean Evans chatted with marijuana pioneer Tommy Chong about the biggest toke he’s ever taken. The anecdote’s details are juicy: Chong said he cleared the chamber on a six-foot bong in the middle of emceeing a concert in Los Angeles, which featured Snoop Dogg and Cypress Hill. “I don’t remember much after that,” he joked.
The madman who provided Chong with the mind-melting piece of blazing equipment, B-Real, is a stoner god himself. The South Gate, CA native took his first toke in the fifth grade (from an older buddy’s green acrylic bong, natch) and helped champion hip-hop’s love of marijuana along with his group, Cypress Hill. So it’s not surprising that Chong’s headiest high came courtesy of the rapper.
But as you might expect from a true pothead, there are a few, uh, holes in Chong’s recollection.
“That actually occurred at one of our Smokeout Festivals,” B-Real says. “It was out in San Bernardino, and we decided to bring out King Arthur, which was an eight-foot glass piece we had. We hit it during our set, so then Tommy decided he wanted a hit. But yeah, it was an eight-foot bong that clears eight feet of smoke. That’s a pretty ambitious hit for a 65-year-old. He needed some oxygen after that.”
“It was an eight-foot bong that clears eight feet of smoke. That’s a pretty ambitious hit for a 65-year-old. He needed some oxygen after that.”
When he’s not smoking out stony comedians, B-Real is busy building what one could call a mini marijuana-related empire. He runs a streaming site called BREAL.TV, which features his show, “The Smokebox,” where he blazes with fellow weed-loving rappers and entertainers. As is par for the course, he’s also gotten into California’s burgeoning marijuana industry, developing two signature strains: Jet Fuel OG and Tangie (which won an award at the 2015 High Times Medical SoCal Cannabis Cup).
All of these bonafides mean that when it comes to debating munchies, B-Real is a person we needed to consult. Unlike past participants of the Stoner Snacks series, B-Real grew up primarily abstaining from sweet, sugary convenience-store food, opting instead for his mother’s home-cooked meals. Everything from quesadillas to bean-and-cheese burritos were his domain. There were, however, exceptions.
“One time she tried to get me to eat liver,” he says. “She tried to sneak it in a burrito, as if it were a regular meat, like sausage. I tasted it right off the bat. To this day I won’t touch liver.”
Luckily, munchies options in Los Angeles extend far beyond liver, so we asked B-Real to offer his opinion on Southern Californian fast-food classics, as well as stay-at-home, stovetop staples. As always, the question is simple: Cop or nah?
Fatburger
B-Real says: “I’ll recommend it because it’s delicious. But you’ll have to do a full day of cardio to burn that shit off.” (Photo: Flickr/Michael Saechang)
Verdict: Cop
Gushers
B-Real says: “If you get stoned every day and that’s your go-to, then you’re going to end up with some fucking cavities.” (Photo: soap.com)
Verdict: Nah
Dunkaroos
B-Real: “What are those?”
[B-Real’s manager interjects] “They’re like these little crackers that come in packs with vanilla dip or chocolate dip.”
B-Real: “Ah, okay, I know what they are! Get your sugar rush from that, and it might bring you back after you hit a super-powerful strain of weed.” (Photo: Facebook/Dunkaroos)
Verdict: Cop
Wonka Fun Dip
B-Real says: “Fun dip? Wait a minute—that’s [the candy where] there’s powder and the stick, and the kids would dip it into the powder and suck on the fucking sugar stick, right? I wouldn’t recommend that. It’s work and it’s too messy, man. I don’t like my hands getting messy.” (Photo: shindigz.com)
Verdict: Nah
Churros
B-Real says: “If you’re high, churros are great. But it’s one of those things where you know you’re going to pay for it the next day. In terms of where to get them in L.A., I don’t think there is any one best place because you see them mainly with street vendors. But some Mexican restaurants may have them, as well as some bakeries. Personally, I would get them from a bakery.” (Photo: Flickr/Nico Kaiser)
Verdict: Cop
Doritos
B-Real says: “I like Doritos, but whether or not I eat them when I’m high just depends on my dry-mouth situation. They may taste amazing, but if you don’t have a gallon of water with you, then put them the fuck down.“ (Photo: hip2save.com)
Verdict: Cop, but only if you have a ton of water on hand
Grilled Cheese
B-Real says: “For me, cheese and weed don’t go together—unless it’s a grilled-cheese sandwich. When I was a kid, that was what I use to have. They’re great because they don’t necessarily give you dry mouth. And they also taste so goddamn good. Some people are now making grilled cheeses with medicated cheese.” (Photo: Flickr/Maggie Hoffman)
Verdict: Cop
Moon Pies
B-Real says: “I’m not a moon-pie eater. They’re too rich for me.” (Photo: Facebook/MoonPie)
Verdict: Nah
In-N-Out Double Double
B-Real says: “There’s nothing like an In-N-Out Double Double. But if you were going to order one with the munchies, then I would recommend you do it protein-style. You don’t want to over do it, you know. If you do it that way, then hell yes.” (Photo: Carla Choy)
Verdict: Cop