Tesco is Nixing Curved Croissants Because the British Think It's Too Hard to Spread Jam on Them

By

Thanks to lazy people across Britain, Tesco is getting rid of the croissant’s iconic crescent shape because British consumers are sick of having a pastry that they can’t easily spread jam on. According to the Evening Standard, the change is happening as a reaction to a decrease in consumer demand for the traditional crescent-shaped pastry. The updated, uncurved pastries will maximize convenience for the modern customer who is lazy AF.


Tesco spokesperson Harry Jones tells the Standard,

“With the crescent shaped croissants, it’s more fiddly and most people can take up to three attempts to achieve perfect coverage, which increases the potential for accidents involving sticky fingers and tables.”

The Telegraph notes this change “will affect nearly one million a week of the supermarket’s own label products, which are currently curved.”


Consumer convenience is at an all-time high. In addition to Tesco’s straight croissants for easy jam spreading, the classic childhood favorite PB&J now has a frozen, pre-made “Uncrustables” counterpart. Meanwhile, there are Bagel-Fuls, a line-shaped bagel with cream cheese already inside.

The Brits might be into this change, but we have a feeling the French are cringing at the thought of a straight croissant.

Latest News