We’ve never had any doubts that Guy Fieri is the most hip-hop star on the Food Network. His all-American car collection is crazier than anything we’ve seen on MTV Cribs, his style is as garish as Riff Raff’s, and he always seems to be popping up with rappers—from 50 Cent, to Vanilla Ice, to Drake.
That last association in particular made us wonder if Fieri had more up his sleeve than he was letting on. This past spring, we interviewed him about his shout-out on Drizzy’s If You’re Reading This It’s Too Late, where the 6 God raps, “Fieri, I’m in the kitchen, I’m a magician.” Then, in September, speculation swirled on Reddit that Fieri was getting ready to drop a mixtape, though the music never materialized.
Well, it turns out your dreams (or nightmares) have finally come true. First We Feast has gained exclusive access to a full track list and cover art for Guy Fieri’s long-rumored rap debut, “The Mayor of Flavortown” (see below).
To confirm the veracity of the project, an anonymous member of Guy’s infamous Kulinary Krew leaked a song called “Donkey Sauce Flow,” which we have decided to share here despite threats of a cease and desist from Fieri’s Food Network bosses.
As you can hear from the track, which has a distinct Kid Rock country-rap twang to it, Fieri is not taking baby steps into the rap arena. In addition to throwing a quick barb at New York Times critic Pete Wells (“he don’t know shit about cuisine inspired by Van Halen”), the Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives star takes aim at rival Anthony Bourdain. Fieri has previously spoken out about beef with Bourdain, telling GQ that he “feels disappointed” about the CNN host’s vendetta against him. But he doesn’t mince words here, proclaiming the rival chef “a fan, a phony, a fake, a punk, a stan” and calling into question is haute-cuisine credentials (“Thinking he’s Robuchon cuz he’s been to France”).
By the looks of the track list, the rest of the project is equally confrontational, featuring a dedicated Pete Wells diss track (“Foodie Fuccbois”) and a slew of high-profile guest spots from the likes of 50 Cent and E-40.
We’ll keep you posted as we hear more from Fieri’s reps about a release date and confirmation of the track list. For now, enjoy this unexpected banger from The Frosted Tipped One.
Track list
1. Triple D (Drugs, Dimes & Drive-Bys)
2. It’s Lit! (feat. Kid Rock)
3. Donkey Sauce Flow
4. The Magician (feat. Drake)
5. 4am in Vegas (Skit)
6. Out of Bounds (feat. 50 Cent)
7. Foodie Fuccbois (Pete Wells diss)
8. Grease Trap Queen (feat. Anne Burrell)
9. Brutha from Anotha Mutha (feat. Vanilla Ice)
10. Wrist, Wrist, Wrist, Wrist, Wrist
11. Lieutenant Flambé-a-Botch (feat. E-40)
12. Side Pieces (F**kin’ Problem remix)
13. Trash Can Nachos
14. Knuckle Sandwich (Outro)
“Donkey Sauce Flow” lyrics
[Chorus]
I’m Fi-eddy, I’m sweaty
Chevies and spaghetti
Dine at drive ins while I’m bumping Tom Petty
Haters wanna hate but they can’t picture me rolling
Pop the top of the ‘Vette, raining Donkamole
[Verse]
I’m a bleach-blonde gourmand, fuck what you heard
My daily calorie count is fucking absurd
Doing donuts eating cronuts, my life is the best
If it don’t involve Cinnabons, I ain’t that impressed
I bake cakes with Drake, Aubrey’s my bro
I’m running through the six with all of my sloppy joe’s
Got a ’76 mustang, seats like cayenne
Shades extra white, skin extra tan
Food and rap on lock, ranch combo platter
Ride for America #stackedfriesmatter
And fuck Pete Wells, that dude is a layman (lame man)
He knows nothing about cuisine inspired by Van Halen
Being this damned fly I’m used to all the haters
Flavor Town is the city and I’m the fuckin’ mayor
So buckle up young buck and sip on the ranch
Got all of the trailer park doing my dance
[Chorus]
I’m Fi-eddy, I’m sweaty
Chevies and spaghetti
Dine at drive ins while I’m bumping Tom Petty
Haters wanna hate but they can’t picture me rolling
Pop the top of the ‘Vette, raining Donkamole
[Verse]
Let me tell you ’bout a shit stain stuck to my shoe
Fan-thony Bourdain, this High Life’s for you
Got my name in his mouth like some gourmet ants
Thinking he’s Robuchon cuz he’s been to France
You’re a fan, a phony, a fake, a punk, a stan
I still whoop your ass and I got a better tan
Motherfuck Bour motherfuck Dain motherfuck Parts Unknown
I don’t need no reservations, ho
But on the real tho, I’m a lover not a fighter
Sippin’ wine named after my sons Hunter and Ryder
Got birds on deck, both tenders and dimes
Like my app platters like girls, two at a time
It’s the Flavortown Express, jump on board with the boss
Rev the engine, pop the top, and make it rain the donkey sauce
It’s Fi-eddy with an F, that F stands for flavor
And also for french fries and Fritos, you salty hater
[CHORUS]
Never say we didn’t see this coming…