“Small portions | tweezered everything” is how @chefjacqueslamerde sums up his minimalist approach to junk food. The parody Instagram account (which has amassed 36k followers) makes use of hysterical modern-cuisine tropes, which result in dishes like “SUPER SOIGNÉ SPEC TONIGHT FT. FILET O FISH VALUE MEAL !!!! FRENCH FRY PUREE, WARM BREADED FISH SLAB, TARTAR SAUCE SPHERES AND COLESLAW ASH!!!!”
The reoccurring use of the word “soigné” in his captions has us peeing ourselves, as does the line “HOLLA AT US IF UR LOOKING TO GET THE MEAT SWEATS 2NITE!!!” We reached out to the Chef to ask where he gets his inspiration, who he stalks on Instagram, and how he got so goddamn soigné in the first place.
Whose feeds do you stalk?
YO THERE IS A TON OF TALENT OUT THERE. I CAN DEF BE FOUND CREEPIN ON @SEANYMACD, @DENNIS.EATS, @JONNYOC, @MICSCOLES AND @SAENZIN. FOR PASTRY INSPO @MERCURYBRIAN IS MY NO. 1 V. FAVE SOIGNÉ ACCT. HIS PASTRY IS SO TIGHT, PLUS HE SEEMS LIKE A REALLY NICE PERSON. IF WE’RE TALKING NON CULINARY I’M REALLY INTO @BIRDSWITHARMS !!!! THAT ACCT IS CLUTCH!!!!
Where do you eat to get inspiration?
BROS I DO NOT GET OUT MUCH. IF IT’S A SPECIAL OCCASION, I’LL PROBABLY HIT UP THE RED LOBSTER FOR SUMTHIN FANCY. I DID HAVE A PRETTY TIGHT MEAL AT THE DUTCH LAST WEEK. IMO NEEDED MORE DORITOS, BUT HEY, WE’RE ALL DIFFERENT AND UNIQUE LIKE SNOWFLAKES, AND THAT’S WUT DRIVES INNOVATION FORWRD.
What is your creative process like?
USUALLY IM LIKE PUMPIN GAS OR PICKIN UP SOY MILK AND I’LL SEE SOME SHINY PACKAGING AND I’LL GET THIS FLASH OF LIKE “HEY THAT COUD BE SOIGNÉ !!!!” LIKE THE OTHER DAY I FOUND SOME SWEDISH FISH GUMMIES AND I BROUGHT THEM TO MY SOUS JOSÉ AND WE JUST STARTED RAPPIN IDEAS AND FINALLY AFTER LIKE 17 DAYS WE CAME UP W/ THIS SUPER TIGHT SWEDISH FISH CEVICHE USING LIME POWERADE FOAM, RED HOTS AND CRACKER JACK. PPL EXPECT A CEVICHE TO BE SAVORY, BUT THEN U SURPRISE THEM AND SHOWCASE UR CREATIVITY AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, UR NEXT LEVEL. BEING CREATIVE IS ABOUT LOOKIN AT WHAT EVERYONE ELSE IS DOING AND GOING TOPSY TURVY ON THEM !!!
Do you want to win a Beard award like @RuthBourdain?
LEGIT DID NOT KNO THIS WAS A THING UNTIL I GOOGLED IT. WHY NOT THO RITE? #YOLO !!!
Do you eat your own dishes? What has been the best so far?
I DON’T ALWAYS HAVE TIME TO SIT DOWN AND EAT A FULL MEAL. USUALLY I EAT A BAG OF CHEETOS STANDING OVER A TRASH CAN WHILE WEARING GLOVES SO MY FINGERS DON’T GET STAINED !!!! I DEFINITELY TASTE ALL THE COMPONENTS OF MY DISHES W/ MY SOUS CHEFS THO!!! BEST DISH SO FAR WAS PROBS THE BURRITO, BUT I’M NEVER HAPPY WITH MY DISHES AND ALWAYS GO BACK TO IMPROVE THEM BY ADDING MORE NEGATIVE SPACE AND TINIER INGREDIENTS.
Who are you?
BRO I AM THE NITROUS IN UR ISI CANNISTER. I AM THE LECITHIN IN UR ESPUMA. I AM THE SPECIAL LITTLE TICK MARK ON TOP OF THE E IN SOIGNÉ !!! I AM THE SPIRIT OF NEXT LEVEL THAT IS IN US ALL !!!
What genre best describes your food?
YA I RLLY DON’T HAVE A CATEGORY. SOME TIMES WHEN U GIVE URSELF A DIFFERENT SET OF PARAMETERS, UR CREATIVITY EXPLODES IN A WAY U DIDN’T EXPECT. I’M JUST MAKING THE FOOD IM INSPIRED TO MAKE. A LOT OF PPL WANT TO READ INTO IT AND LIKE, GET TO THE BOTTOM OF MY FEELS, BUT BROS, SOMETIMES A BUGLE IS JUST A BUGLE !!!!