This week in Unfortunate Moments Captured on a Cellphone Camera, we have a distressed young man groveling at the car window of his former lover, who appears to have spurned him for a new beau.
Needless to say, he is not happy with this turn of events. But rather than blasting Peter Gabriel out of a boombox in a last-ditch effort to win her back, he chooses the slightly more risky strategy of going on a curbside tirade that swings violently between moments of love and jealousy, tenderness and vitriol.
Of particularly note in this star-crossed lover’s rant is the entreaty, “You was my baby, my fucking cinnamon apple…you was always there for me.”
Cinnamon apple? To be someone’s apple cinnamon would make a little more sense—a spice mix that is warming and comforting even on the darkest days of winter. Either way, Twitter has wasted no time in meme-ifying the words of this latter-day Shakespeare.
All jokes aside, calling someone your cinnamon apple seems pretty nice. Unfortunately, the meltdown takes a rapid nosedive from there, and the dude puts the nail in his own coffin when he threatens, “I got all your naked pictures. I’m posting them shits up…on Facebook!”
R.I.P. romance.