Critical Smackdown: The 20 Most Ferocious Restaurant Reviews of All Time

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From the outside looking in, the restaurant critic’s job is a cushy gig—feasting in the hottest restaurants, sipping the finest wines, and essentially getting paid for a life of nonstop culinary hedonism. But once in a while, a dining experience comes along that is so uniformly horrible, it sends the professional eater into a blackout rage. And when the gloves come off, food writers are often at their sharpest, spewing bile with the same zeal they usually reserve for shoveling in the next torchon of foie gras.

Some call these negative reviews slams, or hit pieces—we call them smackdowns. They’re entertaining as all get-out to read, but it’s not all fun and games: Harsh reviews can make or break a restaurant in a matter of minutes. Here’s a look at 20 of the most chilling smackdowns of all time, as well as their consequences.

Written by Jamie Feldmar (@jfeldmar)

Frank Bruni Picks A (Food) Fight With Jeffrey Chodorow

A. A. Gill Unmasks The Worst Restaurant in the World

Matthew Norman Razes Le Relais

Besha Rodell Blasts Briza’s Bizarre Bites

Sam Sifton Sinks Imperial No. Nine’s Ship

Nancy Nichols Compares MesoMaya To Prison Food

Ryan Sutton Damns Del Posto

Hanna Raskin Blasts Ballard’s Bad BBQ Boom

Julia Kramer Sasses Graham Elliot’s Sandwiches

Ruth Reichl Peeved At Pretentious Twits

Michael Bauer Slams Old-School Seafood Spot

Jay Rayner Has No Love for Novikov

Steve Cuozzo Goes In on Lady Gaga’s Dad

Victoria Pesce Elliott’s Review Is No Picnic

Robert Sietsema Harshes on Hofbrau Bierhaus

“At Least The Water Is Cold:” The Only Praise Tom Seitsema Has for Le Pigalle

Tim Carman Doesn’t Want Jack

Jonathan Gold is Duped Into Eating at Olive Garden

Alan Richman’s Sexual Harassment Scandal

S. Irene Virbila Fires Away At Fabio Viviani

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