The healing benefits of coffee have been well-documented over the years. To begin with, a hot cup of Joe can make the prospect of returning to your meaningless, dead-end job feel just a little less soul-crushing each morning, and for years, studies have suggested that sipping on some java can help reduce the risk of certain cancers.
Still, despite the many gifts the coffee bean has already bestowed upon humanity, few could have guessed that a cup of the stuff could help wake up another part of male anatomy. According to the Mirror, a company called Stiff Bull has reportedly been selling a special herbal coffee that promises men instant erections so they can “stay harder longer.”
“These herbs grow wild in the jungles of Malaysia and have been used for centuries by the people of Asia and South America to greatly improve sexual health, libido, and overall wellness,” the company’s website reads, according to the Mirror. (The Stiff Bull website now appears to be shut down.) “The combination of these ingredients produces an awesome effect that can last up to 2 - 3 days.”
If an “awesome,” three-day erection sounds more dangerous than erotic, that’s because it is. The Food and Drug Administration took a closer look at the product during a recent examination of international mail shipments, and found that Stiff Bull got its stiffness from hidden ingredients similar to Viagra. Though sildenafil—the active ingredient in Viagra—is FDA approved to treat erectile dysfunction, it can “lower blood pressure to dangerous levels” for men who take nitroglycerin for conditions like diabetes, high cholesterol, and heart disease.
The FDA is adding Stiff Bull to its “Tainted Sexual Enhancement Products” list, and advising consumers not to purchase or use the product.
Still, Keith Hanson, a representative for Stiff Bull, claims the ingredient in question—desmethyl carbodenafil—was added by a Malaysian manufacturer without his knowledge to cut down on costs.
“We changed manufacturers a month ago. None of the consumers will get the tainted batch,” he told the Independent. “It is an alternative to Viagra. Our focus and mission is to stay clear of that. [We have had] no complaints from customers and no [side-effects] associated with Viagra.”
Stiff Bull just needs to collaborate with Geneva's “Café Fellatio” and then they'd really have a winning business model.